I'm tense, sad, and maybe a little depress.
My friends has been asking me,
"What's wrong Jack?"
"Are you ok Jack?"
"You look tense Jack, are you ok? Is there anything bothering you?"
Well, all I can say is, "I'm fine, I'm just a little tired. Didn't get enough sleep as usual" or "I'm fine, I'm just not happy".
Why am I not happy? Only I, myself know the real reason behind my sadness. I do not wish to prolong this problem in my head. All I wish is just for me to forget about it and be happy. Still, I'm being haunted with all the memories that I wish I could just forget about it. For someone who has a good and strong memory power like me, it is not an easy task. Each and every places, every songs, every foods & drinks, and every words, has its own memories. The nostalgic feeling are always there.
Sometimes, I've been wondering whether having a strong and vivid memory is a blessing, or a curse?
Karma's a BITCH!
Yeah, I really wanted to scream.
Everybody in this world will not escape their karma and, ladies & gentleman, that's a FACT.
My sin of hurting people has finally came back to me, and I'm suffer as twice as much for what I've done.
How long will it last? God knows.
Perhaps one whole year, non-stop or maybe until I have paid my sin all together.
The reason of me, being sad, has got nothing to do with anyone else, but myself.
Yeah. Me, myself, who's the one that make me, unhappy.
Sometimes I tend to rationalise with myself, seeing the fault at other people.
But of course, who can I blame besides myself? The mistakes is on me. So, why should I be complaining? Another question that yet to be answered by myself.
Karma's a BITCH!
Yeah, I really wanted to scream.
Everybody in this world will not escape their karma and, ladies & gentleman, that's a FACT.
My sin of hurting people has finally came back to me, and I'm suffer as twice as much for what I've done.
How long will it last? God knows.
Perhaps one whole year, non-stop or maybe until I have paid my sin all together.
The reason of me, being sad, has got nothing to do with anyone else, but myself.
Yeah. Me, myself, who's the one that make me, unhappy.
Sometimes I tend to rationalise with myself, seeing the fault at other people.
But of course, who can I blame besides myself? The mistakes is on me. So, why should I be complaining? Another question that yet to be answered by myself.
Happiness.
I just wish to be happy. Of course, saying is easier than done. It's not like I do not want to be happy. Who doesn't want to be happy anyway?
I just wish to be happy. Of course, saying is easier than done. It's not like I do not want to be happy. Who doesn't want to be happy anyway?
Perhaps time could help.
Nobody could help me, except myself.
Nobody could help me, except myself.
In this world, one must learn to survive by themselves and don't expect any help from others.
People come, people leave. That's how it is.
Despite that, there are some people that will always be there for you, regardless of anything. Those person would be; Your friends, and your family.
But of course, you cannot count on them all the time. They have their own things and problems to worry about too.
So, it's either you survive and overcome the obstacles by yourself, or you drown in it, giving up all hopes, and die. It's a harsh world, filled with cruel reality.
I never thought this could leave a deep impact on me. Maybe I'm still weak, still not strong enough to be like 'other guys'.
I still believe in the true one. It's out there somewhere. Maybe it isn't the time to reveal it yet. Time will tell who is the true one for me.
But I begin to doubt the very existence of that feeling in the first place. Especially in this modernise era, where some human beings are no longer human. Some of them are worst than animals, worst than demon itself. There's no more love between human. Only the opportunity to take advantage on.
Note* This is my view on humanity nowadays. I can't deny that there are some people out there who can restore the faith of humanity in this world. Is just that, from much of the cases and news that I've seen and heard, I begin to wonder when will God send in the Apocalypse to end this miserable world, wipe out all the human beings and restart the whole thing again. It may sound harsh, but it is my opinion. To accept it or to reject it, is up to you, dear readers.
I still believe in the true one. It's out there somewhere. Maybe it isn't the time to reveal it yet. Time will tell who is the true one for me.
But I begin to doubt the very existence of that feeling in the first place. Especially in this modernise era, where some human beings are no longer human. Some of them are worst than animals, worst than demon itself. There's no more love between human. Only the opportunity to take advantage on.
Note* This is my view on humanity nowadays. I can't deny that there are some people out there who can restore the faith of humanity in this world. Is just that, from much of the cases and news that I've seen and heard, I begin to wonder when will God send in the Apocalypse to end this miserable world, wipe out all the human beings and restart the whole thing again. It may sound harsh, but it is my opinion. To accept it or to reject it, is up to you, dear readers.
Alright, time for closure. In the mean time, I pray to God to help me go through this once more.
I pray so that I do not develop hatred or any negative feelings inside me. I'm currently strong enough to withstand those hatred thoughts from devouring me but, I do not know how much longer I can hold it off. Maybe I need to distance myself from people for awhile, being alone, search for the positive energy and thoughts so that I can ward off these nasty feelings.
People hurt people, perhaps that's another reason why sometimes I prefer to be an introvert, rather than joining and converse with people around me. I can't deny that some of them are good in nature, selfless, likes to help people, and some can even make me smile! But, I do not wish to hurt them with my personal problems. It is my fight and nobody has to know about it. I really need to start putting on at least a fake smile temporarily to prevent some of my friends from looking at my 'miserable', and 'depressing' face.
I pray so that I do not develop hatred or any negative feelings inside me. I'm currently strong enough to withstand those hatred thoughts from devouring me but, I do not know how much longer I can hold it off. Maybe I need to distance myself from people for awhile, being alone, search for the positive energy and thoughts so that I can ward off these nasty feelings.
People hurt people, perhaps that's another reason why sometimes I prefer to be an introvert, rather than joining and converse with people around me. I can't deny that some of them are good in nature, selfless, likes to help people, and some can even make me smile! But, I do not wish to hurt them with my personal problems. It is my fight and nobody has to know about it. I really need to start putting on at least a fake smile temporarily to prevent some of my friends from looking at my 'miserable', and 'depressing' face.
Well, that's it. Sooner or later, I will delete this blog and replace a new one. I will make a photography blog! Wuhoo! Of course, it is not about my life (Well, perhaps some of it). It will be mainly about people, and nature (hopefully). Blogs aren't meant for writing depressing stuff or personal stuff anyway.
Whoever is reading my blog, I'm sorry for the depressing post. In the mean time, I wish you good luck, all the best in your life, and may your life be blessed with unlimited happiness! Ciao!
P.S Being loyal till the end won't bring you any good if you're being loyal to the wrong ones (quoted). But that doesn't mean you should be flirting all around as well. Be patience and believe in your heart.
Whoever is reading my blog, I'm sorry for the depressing post. In the mean time, I wish you good luck, all the best in your life, and may your life be blessed with unlimited happiness! Ciao!
P.S Being loyal till the end won't bring you any good if you're being loyal to the wrong ones (quoted). But that doesn't mean you should be flirting all around as well. Be patience and believe in your heart.
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